[Engage sarcasm module]
Facts?!?!! Wut the blazes you want them fer? Next thang you'll start taiklin' 'bout science or some other crazy stuff!! Let's not go pushin' nunna that junk into our way! This world got on jus' fine for all of its 6,000 years without that Stevie Hawkey guy messing thangs up an' givin' us normal folk headaches!!
An' why would you thank anybody cares none about your 'sperience??
[Disengage sarcasm module]